The Last Yap

There was a time when my taste in music could only be described as being insipid. I didn’t listen to any kind of music. I just played cricket and table tennis, ate Lays, read The Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew and Wodehouse and slouched in front of the television like (or arguably unlike) any other teenage dork. Music for me started with Metallica and Nothing Else Matters. I don’t remember the ‘young me’ actively following any group or solo musician. Nothing Else Matters, changed all that. It was a song that blew me away, and introduced me to the wonders of rock music. True rock lovers would wince at Metallica being referred to as ‘rock music’, as they would consider anything that was not Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath and Deep Purple to be soft chimes. So I attempted to listen to their music but desisted from following them as the risk of developing perforated ear drums was immense. Also the upstairs people didn’t quite enjoy the din. As I reached out into the far corners of the

1. The elevator tells you the number of the floor it has stopped at and thanks you for using it's services. Douglas Adams should be quite happy in his grave. For the uninitiated, it was him that predicted the evolution of the elevator from being a people-transporting-tin-can to a pan-dimensional intelligent being. 2. A car driver stops at an intersection, bows to you from inside the car and let's you cross the street. 3. The bed starts shaking wildly when you are asleep. You get up hoping that the vivid dream you were just enjoying has transcended into reality. You then realize that it's not just the bed that is shaking, but also the earth's crust. Also, when the sleep vanishes from your head, the absence of the hot naked chick(s) is noticeable. 4. The neighbor's turtle slips into your 8th floor apartment and has a blast doing whatever it is that turtles do. Your housekeeper later informs you that she had to break into your house to get at the turtle, and also th