You know you are in Japan when..

1. The elevator tells you the number of the floor it has stopped at and thanks you for using it's services. Douglas Adams should be quite happy in his grave. For the uninitiated, it was him that predicted the evolution of the elevator from being a people-transporting-tin-can to a pan-dimensional intelligent being.

2. A car driver stops at an intersection, bows to you from inside the car and let's you cross the street.

3. The bed starts shaking wildly when you are asleep. You get up hoping that the vivid dream you were just enjoying has transcended into reality. You then realize that it's not just the bed that is shaking, but also the earth's crust. Also, when the sleep vanishes from your head, the absence of the hot naked chick(s) is noticeable.

4. The neighbor's turtle slips into your 8th floor apartment and has a blast doing whatever it is that turtles do. Your housekeeper later informs you that she had to break into your house to get at the turtle, and also the 4 sparrows that had accompanied the turtle.

5. The cellphone rings with the earthquake warning tone, and the earth begins quaking seconds later. Indian meteorology has a lot to catch up with, for predicting just the weather.

6. No woman wears anything below the thighs however cold the weather may be.

7. Every single person in a train car is glued to their music player, cell phone or PSP. Most people have two phones, one smartphone and one flip phone.

8. People read their books right to left.

9. No one honks their vehicle's horn.

10. You fail to explain to the restaurateur that the term vegetarian does not include fish, chicken or pork.

11. There's a blitzkrieging WiFi connection available in a bullet train blitzkrieging at 300 kph.

12. You need to carry a hand-fan and a sweat cloth to prevent death by drowning in your own sweat.

13. You download a 15 GB 1080p HD video in 35 minutes. For the curious, it was the Wimbledon 2008 final played between Roger Federer & Rafael Nadal.